I’m still a rookie.
Today, I was reminded that I’m still a newcomer to this system. Not that we have a rank system or hierarchy. But. Everyone else is capable of so much more than I am. Doreimi—that’s Trezéni and Dietrich—can make it snow, and rain fire, and play with water and ice and all those things. Umm, my synaesthesia’s strong. But I’m barely capable of conscious sensory imposition like that! We could see and feel the cold, raw snow on our shoulders, and the red light of the fire and we started to sweat from the heat. Oh, and they’re much better at dancing than I am. They’re so confident. They jump a lot.
Doreimi is shorter than I thought. I guess that’s Zeni’s influence. I hadn’t actually met him before. Maybe I should make a page for all their fusions, but… First of all that would require height measurements of dozens of people, and I’m still working furiously to read all of our library books before they’re due. (I should renew them on Monday.)
After we finished dancing, I realised—we devote at least half an hour every day to embodying ourselves.
Well, for us it’s just fun family time. Dancing and singing together. …They sang “Calling” from The World Ends with You… and playing in the grass, looking up at the stars. That’s just bonding time for us. But other people might look at it as daily shamanic work or exercises, spending a minimum of 30 minutes each day to channelling other spirits. I have to wonder about the people who make it their livelihood. They have to work with clients and whatever spirits they need, so it’s less fun, and if they work 8 hours a day, it must be tiring. Dancing and singing and playing instruments 8 hours a day.
Whenever Giovanni’s around, we get a neuralgia that’s specific to him. “Wow, my back feels like it’s being tasered! My best friend is back!” Sounds bad, but he has to deal with it any time he takes the reins over the body. Existence is literally pain for him.
“Eh. It’s all right.” He shrugs it off…
I’ve really been enjoying playing counsellor for Cocoa and Dieter and Axel lately. Especially in the bath! I think I’ll get a different kind of bubble liquid, though, this one doesn’t foam up as much or smell as strongly as I’d like. Do other shamans work in the water like I do? I’m sure there are, I can imagine rituals in rivers, or hot springs, but a bubble bath one… I haven’t heard of that yet. I think it’s pretty fun. People should take more bubble baths.
There are still some wounds that Cocoa can’t uncover yet. I’d always thought she was pretty raw, but it turns out there are scars I haven’t seen yet. I thought the others would know but they don’t, or at least they’re not certain about what specifically that could be about. It feels scary, actually. I’m hesitant to actually get near it. Jin might be better at handling it. After all, he knows her best…
Everyone’s accommodating to me by letting me read and study what I want, and practice my calligraphy. But, I don’t know how long it’ll last. Sooner or later, I’ll have to step off the stage, and make way for more important matters. I don’t have any dreams of living a happy life, anything like that. A future with anyone or anywhere is completely out of my reach, and doesn’t cross my mind at all. What kinds of dreams does Giovanni have? I’ll have to ask him when he comes back…